1. What influence does the “absent” person (Stewart’s dad, Alan’s birth father, Alan’s birth mother growing up in foster care) have on family relationships?

2. What strengths do the Smith family bring to this new situation?

3. What strengths does Alan bring into the family?

4. What type of support would the Smith family need to make this change work in their family?

5. Is this family typical or atypical?

6. Why was this activity important?

7. Would Alan gravitate towards Susan, Robert, Stewart, or Sharon?

8. How would Robert feel if Alan acts out at school or on the school bus?

9. What do you think would happen if Roberts’s friends started to hang out with Alan and exclude Robert?

10. How do you think Susan would feel if Alan got more of Sharon and Stewart's attention and maybe took her spot as the “good” child?

11. What can the Smith family do to make this work?

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Closing Thoughts:

Families have very complex and complicated relationships within their families and their communities. Every change creates many changes in the family relationships. Adding new members to any family increases the complexity within the family, the extended family and the community.

When a foster/adoptive child joins the family, there are many more parties involved in the family’s lives including caseworkers, therapists, birth family members, former foster parents, and many others. These relationships may be ongoing or they may have ended yet they will still affect the child’s perception of his/her new home and family. Time management becomes a major factor in juggling all the additional responsibilities that go along with this new commitment. Good communication within a partnership or marriage and family will be vital.