Unit Five: Impact of New Child on Family

When we make the decision to foster or adopt another child we may not fully consider the impact such a decision could have on the children currently in the home.

Here are some feelings your existing child may feel:

• Child has to make room for someone he or she didn’t choose.

• Child can’t understand why second child is needed, wasn’t I enough?

• Child has to share living space, belongings.

• All the attention shifts to new child.

• Decision to add a new family member should be a family decision.

• Roles, family dynamics shift with the addition (or loss) of any family members.

• Child may wonder if there is enough love and attention to go around.

• It’s important to validate each person’s feelings regardless of whether it’s anger or acceptance.

Here are some possible encouragement and support strategies that may help the transition:

• Involve child in planning for new child in home.

• Anticipate issues with child before new child comes into home.

• Find opportunities to support and validate the child’s importance and role in the family.

• Use family councils.

• Validate that all feelings are acceptable even if viewed as negative, such as anger and resentment.