Foster and Adoptive Parenting

Session 5

Unit Six: Self-Esteem

If you find you need more space or you don't have access to a printer, remember that you can use your Resource Guide or plain paper to complete these questions.

Self-Esteem and Behavior Management Activity

The following activity will demonstrate how self-esteem and behavior management are connected:

	Pretend your role is that of a substitute parent. You are caring for a friend’s 12-year-old son. The friend is a single parent who is in the hospital for a serious operation, and cannot be disturbed. You receive a call from the school principal telling you that your friend’s son, along with some other boys, has thrown eggs at a school bus.
Type your answers to the following questions:
	Identify the problem behavior.

	What is your emotional response to the behavior?

	What kind of information would you collect?

	Identify a way to address the behavior that promotes the child's self-esteem.

	Identify a way to address the behavior that promotes self-esteem for the child and parent.


Print out your responses to share with the trainers. Or, if you didn't have access to a printer, email this page. Type your name in the blank below and then hit the email button.

Summary

This process of identifying:

the problem behavior,
your emotional response to the behavior,
possible reasons for the behavior, and
possible ways to address the behavior that promote self-esteem

can be used by parents as a method of dealing with a child’s misbehavior or problems related to poor self-esteem. Often it is helpful to have a plan in place for how to deal with a specific behavior — this helps us to act calmly rather than react emotionally. This 4-step process is an excellent tool for parents to use in addressing many problem behaviors.

Remember, as parents:

You do not have to react immediately to a situation, and
If you do react inappropriately, it is good role modeling to reconsider your actions. Explain how and why you’ve changed your response will teach the child how he or she can begin to change his or her own reactions.
You may choose to consider whether or not an apology would be helpful; but most important is the adult modeling of an actual change in behavior. Take responsibility for your own actions and admit your mistakes.